


Expectations

by Pokegeek151



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Agoraphobia, Artemis Sr's A+ Parenting, Despite the description it is Holly's POV, Gen, I wrote this on the train home from school, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, She's a little messy but she exists, This headcanon appeared in my brain and I cannot stop it from taking over all my thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27675215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokegeek151/pseuds/Pokegeek151
Summary: Artemis had known many things in his relatively short life. He knew how to solder circuit boards together to make machines that can do just about anything short of read minds. He knew how to apply oil paints to canvases to create pieces from stunning replicas of famous portraits to original abstract landscapes. He knew how to read and absorb new information so that it sticks and he can utilize it in any number of schemes and plots.He also knew that large open spaces make his stomach tighten and his heart rate increase and his mind fill with thoughts of danger. He also knew that these reactions are ridiculous and, as his father used to tell him, he needed to "get over it" because panicking over entering a ballroom for a gala will be a hindrance when he takes over the family business.A part of him recognized that this was an unhealthy mindset, but the part of him that had been molded to please his father was so much louder. It screeched in his ears when the panic threatened to overtake him, and right now, it was begging him to get out of this situation before he lost control again.
Relationships: Artemis Fowl II & Holly Short, Domovoi Butler & Artemis Fowl II
Comments: 12
Kudos: 77





	Expectations

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by Asiatiques

Artemis stopped just inside the door to the ballroom. Most fairy buildings had low ceilings, but this room was unique. It was a large underground cave that was simply shaped a bit to accommodate activity. Soft lights were embedded in the walls, giving the space a gentle glow that emphasized the natural roughness of the stone. The height of the cavern did not go to waste; platforms were suspended in the air, hanging from the ceiling in some places, attached to the walls in others. The undersides of these platforms were perfect places to hang chandeliers that helped to even out the light in the center of the room, particularly above the circular stage in the center of the floor for any speakers or performers. The venue was elegant and massive, the perfect place for a high society event celebrating the first human-fairy technological conference, particularly when one of the guests was over twice the height of the average fairy. 

Holly hadn't initially noticed that Artemis had stopped, but she quickly realized he was no longer following. 

"You alright there, Mud Boy?" she asked. When he didn't respond, she turned back, expecting him to be caught up in the majesty of the underground ballroom. What she saw instead was Artemis staring ahead seemingly at nothing with a look fixed on his face devoid of emotion. "Artemis?"

He blinked back into awareness, and Holly didn't miss the slight tightening of his fists as he smiled lightly at her. "I'm fine." 

"You sure?" she asked. There was definitely something off with him, but it was hard to place. To a stranger, he would seem perfectly content, which was part of the issue. 

He tensed for a moment, then smoothly pulled the black folded cloth from his breast pocket and pressed it into his palm. "I'm  _ fine _ , Holly," he insisted. There was a hollowness in his voice. "I realized I forgot my tie clip. It's a crucial aspect of formal fashion, and I look ridiculous without it. I believe I left it in my bag, which is currently at the coat check." He nodded to Butler, then turned sharply and began to walk quickly away from the room. 

Butler gave Holly a brief apologetic look. "We will be back soon," he said plainly, then followed after Artemis. 

Holly immediately went after them. Artemis and Butler had made it a decent distance down the hall already, but Holly had no trouble jogging up to them. 

Artemis stared directly ahead, refusing to look at either of his companions. Before Holly could ask again, he stopped and pulled open the door to a random, empty conference room. 

It was not a grand entrance like the one to the main ballroom, and Butler easily blocked the door after Artemis had slipped inside. He glanced at Holly, his slightly worried expression instantly magnifying Holly's own concerns. 

"This isn't coat check," she said, unsure what to ask. 

"No," Butler agreed. He came to a decision, then, and entered the conference room, allowing Holly to follow. 

She didn't even see Artemis at first. He was sitting on the floor, pressed into the corner least in view of the door. His breaths were short and fast, and he still had the black cloth crushed in his hand. 

Holly easily recognized the signs of a panic attack even before Butler crouched in front of Artemis' curled up form and delicately put his hand on the boy's arm. What she had no idea about was the cause.

"D'arvit," she breathed. "What's going on?"

"He's fine," Butler said, then corrected himself. "He will be fine."

Holly didn't take her eyes off of them as she quietly pulled the door closed. "Artemis, what do you need?" she asked. 

Artemis didn't respond, but Butler seemed to have things under control. He worked Artemis' fist open enough that he dropped the cloth, revealing the small, crescent-shaped cuts in his palm. The man didn't even blink. He simply fit his own massive hand into Artemis' slender pianist fingers so that he couldn't hurt himself further. 

Holly pushed one of the chairs aside and sat on the edge of the long conference table. She hated feeling useless, but panic attacks were a tricky thing. Butler had it handled, and she didn't want to get in the way. In the meantime, she pulled out her communicator to tell Foaly they had hit a bit of a snag and were going to be late. 

For about fifteen minutes, the only sounds were Artemis' harsh breathing and Butler’s continuous stream of words so soft that Holly couldn't make them out. Whatever he was saying seemed to calm Artemis down enough for the boy to at least uncurl himself. 

"Anyone want to tell me what that was about?" Holly asked, her usual ribbing softened with worry. 

Artemis nearly jumped out of his skin, but he managed to prevent himself from spiraling into another panic attack. "I'm sorry you had to see that," he said breathily. 

"No need to apologize. Happens to the best of us," she said carefully. "Any idea what caused it?"

"It's none of your concern."

Holly raised her eyebrow at that. "Yeah, I'm not buying that. Butler?" 

"Agoraphobia," the man said plainly. 

"I do not have agoraphobia," Artemis replied, annoyed at the very notion. 

"It's not like you to deny your own mental health," Butler retorted with speed and familiarity that suggested a well-worn discussion.

"I am not denying my mental health. This is nothing but a petty weakness that I have  _ under control _ ."

Holly spoke up. "Cutting your hand open doesn't seem like 'under control.'"

Artemis finally extracted his hand from Butler’s and picked up the black handkerchief from where it had fallen. "I am handling it. This evening was an outlier," he said, carefully standing up. He was still a bit unsteady, but he did his best to stand firmly. 

"Artemis," Butler began. 

Artemis cut him off. "Let's all return to the event, shall we? They are expecting us." Despite trying to inject firmness into his tone, he was still clearly shaken. 

Holly hopped off the table and stood in front of him. He was a couple feet taller than her, but despite her having to literally look up to him, he knew she was more in control of the situation than he was. 

He met Holly's worried eyes, but he couldn't hold her gaze when he spoke. "I will be fine," he said carefully, already putting the mask of composure back on. 

For a single terrifying moment, Holly didn't respond. Finally though, she offered him a weak smile. "Don't be afraid to ask for help," she said. 

Artemis took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I will keep that in mind." He quickly turned and opened the door before his already cracking emotional walls could crumble further. 

**Author's Note:**

> I a little bit hate this but oh well. My brian randomly put together agoraphobic Artemis and then I couldn't stop thinking about it, so here we are.
> 
> Come join me on [Tumblr](https://pokegeek151.tumblr.com/) if you care about that sort of thing.
> 
> As always, my physical form is sustained by comments, so if you want me to exist long enough to write more, consider providing me linguistic nutrients.


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